"Trust God No Matter What"

Darla Isackson is an author of books and articles that I have read often. She has written a book titled "Trust God No Matter What". I have not read it yet but did come across a quote from a Thanksgiving article she wrote that I wanted to share. Sometimes I have a difficult time listening to others speak about the challenges of life when it appears that they have no trials. I try to remind myself that everyone has their own crosses to bear, even if we cannot see them. But, I find it easier to believe in the words of others when I know that they have experienced challenges similar to myself. Darla Isackson is someone I can listen to and believe. She has been through the fire and survived. She has gone through a difficult divorce, struggled with depression, and had a son who was clinically depressed commit suicide. For this reason I find her words comforting and believable.

I’m Learning to Trust God No Matter What!

"I now see that the only thing that makes it possible to thank God in all things is to Trust God No Matter What! That’s the title of my book that documents many spiritual lessons I’ve learned. I now stand as a witness that the only course in life that makes sense is trusting God no matter what and thanking him in all things. There is no light on any other path. And once we’ve tasted the light, darkness is unbearable.

"I know now that I can trust God no matter what because God cannot lie. His scriptural promises are sure. When He tells us that “all things work together for our good” (repeated three times in scripture) and that “all these things shall give [us] experience, and shall be for [our] good.”(D&C 122: 7)—even though we can’t imagine how it could be true, it IS true because God cannot lie.

I see now that gratitude is the very heart of faith, the very soul of trust in the Lord. I am lost without it, because without it I lose the Spirit. The Holy Ghost never participates in my whining, self-pity, negativity, or blindness to the Lord’s purposes. The Lord never motivates or inspires me to complain about my circumstances or the faults of others or to grovel in self-denigration. But whenever I am attending to the commandment to give thanks in all things the Spirit attends me and I feel joy—no matter how bad the circumstances might be. No wonder this commandment has been so often repeated.

This Thanksgiving season my prayer for all of us is that we turn our thoughts and minds and hearts to thanking God for life, for His plan, for the blessing of learning through experience, and for the knowledge that all things can work together for our good. In short, that we thank God in all things. Gratitude is the grand solution."

Darla Isackson

I Can Smile Today

It is so interesting to me how quickly my downs can shift and all of a sudden everything feels right again. Today that happened for me. It is usually no doing on my part that I can see, but all of a sudden I have energy, motivation, and the ability to handle the everyday simple tasks that just moments ago had seemed insurmountable to me. For a few days I hadn't even been able to leave the house. I felt so sad, so tired, and so hopeless again. For me the outside world doesn't even exist until I am well again. When I get like this Bailey will give me a hug and ask, "What's wrong?" All I can say is that I am having a hard day. She has lived her whole eleven years with me struggling with my depression, mood swings, and energy shifts. She doesn't know any different. I can see that she has become a very independent girl which can be a good trait in her in life, but I feel sad that she hasn't had a "normal" childhood like my other kids did before I got so sick. If anything good can come from this I hope that my kids have developed an understanding and empathy for others. Everyone has their trials and challenges in life. This is one of ours. Today I am thankful that I can enjoy the holiday with my family.

Depression Gets Old

I hate bad days. For whatever reason they come and then they like to stick around for awhile. It gets old. My energy is zapped, I have no motivation, I feel so sad and irritable, any thoughts of hope vanish and I feel sorry for those who have to live with me. I think that guilt is one of the biggest obstacles for me to overcome. It presses down on me so hard when I am not doing well. I just hate that people in my life have to pay the price of me being sick. One of my doctors told me that the bipolar is not me. It is not who I am, not my identity. I try to remember that but it feels like it is a very much an innate part of who I am. I feel guilty that it manifests itself through me, and in my distorted vision, it is "ME". Since he said that to me years ago I make it a point to say "I have Bipolar" not "I am Bipolar". But on my depressed and down days it feels that is all that I am...sick and hard to live with.

Maxine

If I ever need a smile, all I need to do is read some of Maxine's comics. She is a favorite. Something about her crabby style connects with the feisty, sarcastic side of me. :) Enjoy!

I wish that I had been able to recognize what was happening to me before I literally crashed in June of 2000 and was unable to function at all. For a long time I knew that something wasn't right but I didn't know the "language" of Clinical Depression or Bipolar Disorder and so I had no knowledge or experience to draw from. No one else seemed to understand what was happening to me either. For many years I just thought that I was a weak, stupid, incapable person who couldn't seem to handle life like everyone else. I tried to hide what I was thinking and feeling but I always feared that others would finally realize what a dumb person I was. Honestly, it was a relief to finally be diagnosed with first Major Clinical Depression and a few short months later with Bipolar Disorder. There was finally a reason for the insanity I was experiencing. And so began the long road to learning how to live with mental illness. I am amazed at all that I have learned over the years. I now feel like the "language" of depression is my second language instead of a foreign one. I wouldn't have asked for or chosen this particular road but I can say that I have learned and grown from my extremely difficult and painful experiences. My Bipolar Disorder is for life. I had to come to the point of acceptance and I had to learn how to be grateful for the blessings in my life. There are many days when I absolutely do not feel grateful at all but those days pass and I can then look at things with clearer vision. I am thankful for medication that keeps me stabilized. Without it, I would not be alive. I am thankful for understanding children and for a supportive husband who has weathered the storm with me and has not given up. I am thankful for the knowledge of a loving Savior who feels and knows my pain. It is still difficult to face the fact that I will never have the life that I envisioned for myself and for my family. But I have learned how to best live within my limitations and most of the time I realize that I can still have a happy, productive life even with a mental illness. There were many years when I thought it would be much better if I were dead. I would tell anyone who may be in that hopeless place of thinking to hang on. It will get better. It may take time, sometimes a lot of time like in my case, but there is always hope. Never, never give up.

Read the next post for symptoms of clinical depression.

Symptoms of Depression

Spotting the Signs of Depression

By Chris Iliades, MD

Medically reviewed by Lindsey Marcellin, MD, MPH

Being in a "blue mood" sometimes is a normal part of life. If you lose a loved one or are laid off from your job, it is natural to be sad. When you have depression symptoms because of a stress that has occurred in your life, it is called "situational depression." Most people recover from situational depression over time, although it may take days or weeks.

However, when depression symptoms just won't go away and the depression starts to interfere with your ability to function, normally it is called "clinical depression" or “major depression.” Major depression is a serious illness that may last for weeks, months, or years. If you have major depression, you need to get help, so it is important to know which symptoms of depression might indicate it.

The symptoms of depression are overwhelming. People may describe major depression as a "black hole" that they just can't get out of. A sense of impending doom is also common in this type of depression. You may feel lifeless, limp, and apathetic.

Symptoms of Depression: 10 Warning Signs

People with serious depression do not all have the same symptoms, but they may include:

• Sadness. When feeling sad is a symptom of depression, it may include feeling hopeless and empty. You may find that no matter how hard you try, you just can't control your negative thoughts. You may find yourself crying for no obvious reason.
• Guilt. People with severe depression may feel that they are worthless and helpless. They may even experience their depression as a sign of weakness, and can be overly self-critical.
• Irritability. This depression symptom may cause you to feel angry, anxious, or restless. Men who are seriously depressed often express their depression through aggression or reckless behavior.
• Mental symptoms. If you have trouble concentrating, making decisions, or remembering details, these could be symptoms of depression. People with depression may feel that their thought processes have slowed down.
• Physical symptoms. People with depression often have aches and pains, headaches, or digestive problems that do not seem to have any other medical cause and do not respond to treatment.
• Loss of energy. If you have depression, you may feel tired all the time. People with depression may feel that their physical abilities are slowed down.
• Loss of interest. A common depression symptom is loss of interest in pleasurable activities like sex, hobbies, or social interactions. This may also show up as neglecting your responsibilities and your physical grooming.
• Sleep changes. Waking up too early in the morning, not being able to fall asleep, or sleeping too much can all be symptoms of depression.
• Appetite changes. Changes in eating habits due to depression can result in eating too much or too little. A weight gain or loss of more than 5 percent of your body weight in one month is one of the warning signs of depression. Some people experience a loss of interest in food, while for others food becomes a way of compensating for feelings of depression.
• Suicidal thoughts. Having thoughts of harming yourself is a serious symptom of depression and always needs to be taken seriously. If you’re thinking about suicide, you need to get help immediately.

Symptoms of Depression: No Shame or Weakness

If you have some of these classic symptoms of depression and the symptoms are severe and have lasted longer than a few weeks, you should seek help. The best place to start is with your doctor.

The American Psychiatric Association says that clinical depression affects 17 million Americans. In many cases, depression that could be successfully treated goes undiagnosed and untreated because symptoms of depression are ignored.

Depression is not a sign of weakness or a reason for shame — it is a serious illness. The positive news is that even in serious cases of clinical depression, treatment is usually very successful. And the earlier treatment is started, the more successful it is. So don't wait.

Glenn Close, Sister Jessie Close Tackle Mental Illness Awareness - ABC News

Glenn Close, Sister Jessie Close Tackle Mental Illness Awareness - ABC News

This is a great video. I love when people have the courage to speak out about their mental illness. I have a tendency to lay it all out there which exposes me a little too much at times. When I do that I am opening the door for judgment and criticism and possibly the loss of friends. I will take that risk. I know personally how helpful it is to be validated and understood by those who live with the illness. It is critical for us to support one another in our difficult individual journeys. The more it is addressed publicly the more we will be understood by society.

Click on the title to watch the video