"Gaps"

My brother Jamie has been blessed with the gift of poetry and tonight he sent the third poem he has written for me.  He said, "...it poured out in about 80 seconds so I figured someone wanted you to have it."   There are still times when the emotions of this illness outweigh any supposed will power I think I have and today was one of those days.  A day that I spent crying.  A day I spent wishing that I didn't have this horrible, relentless illness. A day that I was completely overwhelmed with the simplest of tasks.  Tonight I needed to know that someone cared.  I needed to be reminded that there is always hope.  I needed to know that God is aware of me and my struggles.  This poem did that for me.  Jamie, thank you for taking the time to pause, to listen, and to act, on words that were sent to you, and through you, for me.  


"Gaps"

Flashes of eternity
Like seeing a vision through my shut eyelids.
Enough time to bound, by those old flaxen cords
A scrap of hope;
Crumbles lying in the cracks of my palms.

I’ll piece them together
When my grip comes to the last of my rope.

I am wagering with my last breath
That when the clouds part in the morning
There will be God --Willing to fill in the gaps -- with mercy
The spaces left undone
Between my head and my heart,
Giving me reason to see the rest of the sunrise.

Jamie Darger