Jean-Claude Van Damme

Jean-Claude Van Damme

I am so intrigued with celebrities who have Bipolar Disorder.  Jean-Claude Van Damme was a cocaine addict, was married four times from 1984-1994, was charged with spousal abuse, and became suicidal in 1997. Not long after that he was diagnosed rapid cycling bipolar disorder and was prescribed Lithium.  He says, "In one week, I felt it kick in. All the commotion around me, all the water around me, moving left and right around me, became like a lake."

I like his description of how the medication helped him; the commotion was gone. Lithium was the first medication I was put on in 2001.  For me it was not a good thing.  I am a bit envious of those who find the answer right away.  For me it was eight long years of trial and error.  I would say that for the majority the road to discovering what medication will bring them to a stable place can take years. It was a test of faith for myself and for my family as we battled the war day in and day out without much relief.  We suffered through the bad and tried to enjoy any small reprieve that came, knowing that the time would likely be short lived.  The emotions of bipolar are completely overwhelming.  I think a good comparison in how I experience it, is it's like a flash flood.  The emotions come fast and hard, without any warning.

I still don't know where to channel that negative energy.  Just yesterday I was expressing to Brent my frustration at still not understanding what to do with it even after all these years. I guess I should be learning patience through all of this but I certainly don't feel I have made much progress in that area.  Maybe I don't give myself much credit, but then again, maybe I don't deserve any credit.  We still experience the bipolar inconsistency everyday, but the good days completely outweigh the bad.  Thank goodness for a doctor who never gave up and a family who has had endless amounts of enduring love for me. I can say that I feel greatly blessed. I never thought I would be able to say that and actually believe it.