Parody Posters for Mood Disorders

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Bipolar Magazine

I have volunteered a few times at the NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) here in Boise.  They have a library there in the office where books and magazines can be checked out.  I found a magazine there that I was not familiar with.  I highly recommend this to anyone who has the illness. There is very good information, and stories of others personal experiences with the illness. I find it helps me in knowing that I am not alone.  I guess I don't feel so crazy knowing there are others who are fighting the same war that I battle every single day.

 

http://www.bphope.com/

 

 

 

I find comfort in knowing what Bipolar IS and what Bipolar IS NOT.

What is bipolar?

Bipolar disorder is a treatable illness marked by extreme changes in mood, thought, energy, and behavior. Bipolar disorder is also known as manic depression because a person's mood can alternate between the "poles," mania (highs) and depression (lows). The change in mood can last for hours, days, weeks or months.

What Bipolar is not?  
Bipolar disorder is not a character flaw or sign of personal weakness.


For a good part of my life I thought I had many, many character flaws and personal weaknesses.  It was a difficult thing to constantly be going in circles trying to fix things that I considered bad or lacking in myself.  No matter how hard I tried, I never seemed to make any progress.  I felt so inferior to those around me.  Finding out that I had Bipolar Disorder explained so much.  I wasn't a bad or weak person.  I had an illness.  An illness that could be treated.  This is not the life I envisioned for myself.  I didn't choose this and it definitely wasn't at the top of my bucket list!  But this is the my reality now; the road I have to travel.  I do believe the teaching that ALL things can be for our good if we continually turn to God for our strength and support.  There is no doubt in my mind that somehow I am being taught and refined through this process.  Today I can feel the faith that I know I have.  Some days I struggle to find and remember that solid foundation, so I am grateful to be tuned into that truth for now.  I am so thankful for my good days.

Thomas Jefferson Quote

 
“Who then can so softly bind up the wound of another as he who has felt the same wound himself?” 

Thomas Jefferson


I love how the word softly is used in this quote.  It implies the loving, tender compassion we can give to one another, in particular those who suffer as we have suffered.  For me, talking to others who had themselves experienced depression was critical for me in my attempt to hang on to life during the incredibly difficult years I had until we were able to get me to a healthy place.  A special few were able to give me a sliver of hope in my darkest of times.  I needed to hear from those who had survived the devastating effects of depression themselves, and even then, I still had difficulty believing that I would one day be well.  Hope is out there for each one of us but sometimes we need those around us to give us a lifeline and a reason to keep living.  I will forever be grateful for those who "softly bound up my wounds" in my time of need. My hope is to give to others that which was given to me- an understanding heart and empathetic, listening ears. 

Winston Churchill Quote

Loving these quotes-

"If you are going through hell, keep going."

Winston Churchill

"In three words I can sum up everything I have learned about life: it goes on."

Robert Frost


I read these quotes to my family and Dani asked me what my three words are.    

Breathe- Believe- Hope

Without these, I wouldn't have been able to "keep going" through my own personal hell.

No Patience for Judgment...

I have been living the bipolar roller coaster officially for over nine years and unofficially for my entire life, so you would think that after all this time of dealing with people's critical judgment regarding medications for mental illness, I would be beyond being affected by their criticism.  You would think that I could accept that they are speaking from a lack of knowledge and experience, and therefore, have no idea what they are talking about.  You would think.  But I do care and I hate being misunderstood.  It cuts like a knife every time but especially when it comes from people I really care about.  I guess I need to get thicker skin.   It very quickly sends me into a downward spiral.  My husband wonders why it matters so much to me what other people think.  I really can't answer that, only that it does.  When it happens, I first have disbelief, then anger, and then many, many tears.  Stupid, I know.  For some reason it makes me question all the experience and knowledge that I have received through years of study and personal trials with the bipolar illness.  I know how critical medications have been for myself, my kids, and others that I personally know.  It frustrates me that I let others opinions rock my foundation of knowledge.  After I  work my way through the bipolar emotional mess it creates for me and I have come out on the other side, I can once again gain my strong footing and know that it is just hard, and maybe impossible for people to understand who have not lived it or who have not witnessed someone they love live the nightmare.  Without my medications I would not be here.  Period.  It took a lot of experimenting, a lot of trial and error, and a lot of painful years before we found the combination that worked for me. Once we did, I have been able to live again in a somewhat normal way. Medication isn't the cure all but I believe it is the first step.  Once a person is stabilized they can then begin to understand and learn how to live with a chronic mental illness.  Implementing certain tools will give them the ability to live a good, productive, and happy life.  My goal is to stop letting the opinion of others rock my world.  I know what I know, and that should be enough.  So wish me luck on my path to learning how to forgive and not judge others, for their judgment of me.

Not a Mere Cottage...

C.S. Lewis spoke of how God remodels us, if we will but let Him, sometimes in ways that hurt and don't seem, on the surface, to make sense.
     
"Imagine yourself as a living house.  God comes in to rebuild that house.  At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing.  He is getting the drains right and stopping leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing so you are not surprised.  But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense.  What on earth is He up to?  The explanation is that he is building quite a different house from the one you thought of- throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards.  You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace."

 

All I can say is, it must be some palace.

Elder Wirthlin Quote

Nothing beyond 

His Healing Touch

“No grief is so great, no pain so profound, 
no burden so unbearable 

that it is beyond His healing touch.”

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin 
of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

When I am not doing well it is promises like this that keep me hanging onto a hope that I cannot pull from within myself.  

 

Pass on the Compassion

I have been having some bad days and this is the time when I pull out my very used bipolar and depression books and when I read back on my journals.   I am always shocked at all that my family and I have been through because of my illness.  It makes me sad but it also reminds me of how far we have come in getting me stable and how much we have learned about how to live with a chronic mental illness.  There is no way to completely understand depression and the mood swings of bipolar disorder unless you have lived it, but I do think reading about or hearing others experiences can bring good insight.  I have said in the past that sometimes the language of depression sounds overly dramatic.  There are times when even I find it hard to remember ever having felt that depressed and hopeless.  However, these thoughts and feelings were very real at the time and it was truly my reality, as dramatic as it sounds.  Whenever we go through traumatic events and trials in our life we are changed and we will never be the same.  That is not necessarily a bad thing.  What we live can give us compassion, empathy, understanding, growth, maturity, and a desire to help others in ways that we could not have otherwise done if we hadn't experienced it ourselves.  I believe it is our responsibility to then pass on the compassion.  My journal entries are the best way for me to convey what was happening during the years my illness was winning the battle.  I have many, many journal notebooks.  These are just a few excerpts.

11-7-06
I am tired of the extremes.  Everything feels wrong today.  I am not able to cope with any simple thought or act.  I feel paralyzed.  When I get like this I try to remind myself that it is only temporary and that I will be able to handle life again but it is almost impossible to believe.  When I feel like this I hate that everyone has to have me in their lives.  I seem to make things so much harder for everyone.  I have no energy.  My hand is too tired to continue writing.


11-24-06
This evening I was at the bottom and wanting to die.  The pain is so severe when I get this low.  It feels as if it will never go away and that I will never feel hope again.  I am shocked everytime.


12-18-06
It's Monday morning and I am dreading the day.  I didn't sleep last night.  I was up and down all night and as a result I am emotional, discouraged, and tired.  I don't know how productive the day will be.  I get so tired of the mood roller coaster I live on.  No one can understand unless they have lived it day in and day out for years.  The thought of living this way for the rest of my life gives me thoughts of wanting give up.  I am living in a discouraging state of mind.  I think most people would tell me to change my attitude.  What do they know!  I am so tired of feeling judged.


12-30-06
I am hurting everyone in my life and so they would be better off without me.  I try so hard to hang on to logic and truth but my emotions completely take over.  No matter what happens, I need everyone to know that I have done my best.


1-10-07
I felt good until a few minutes ago.  I was reading a book on depression and bipolar and I read a part that talked about bipolar not going away and always needing continued  treatment.  All of a sudden I felt such a deep sadness for what I have to live the rest of my life with.  It feels like a death sentence.  I hate these mood shifts.  I have a pain in my chest that came about the time the crying started.  I feel extremely tired.  It comes on so fast.  I can't write anymore- I'm too tired.


1-15-07
I am so sad and frustrated.  Things just keep caving in on us.  Honestly it's difficult to keep hold of any hope.  Last night the despair completely overcame me.  I am so tired of what is happening.  I know that if I keep getting pushed down, one of these times I will not get up- literally.  Thoughts of death come so often.  Honestly,  I feel that taking my life is inevitable.  The hopelessness I feel overwhelms me to the point of almost not functioning.  The future feels too big to face.  Same old feelings, same old complaints.  How will anything ever be okay?  I want to hide in bed today.  I have no hope...


5-9-07
I need everyone to know that I have done my very best.  No matter how hard I try it's never enough.  The bipolar will never leave me alone.  I am tired and overwhelmed.  I feel like I am hurting everyone in my life.  I can't do it anymore.  It's too big.
I love you all-


As I have read about others experiences with depression I have found that the same words, thoughts and feelings are expressed over and over.  That is why I call it the language of depression.  It is good for me to understand that I am normal in how I am experiencing the illness.  It makes me feel validated which has been such an important lifeline for me.  I am thankful to those who have opened up to me in the past in regards to their own illnesses.  It is sometimes a very personal thing to share and can make us vulnerable to judgment and ridicule.  I have had to learn to put away any pride and be willing to speak openly.  l think one of the best ways we can help others is to be completely honest.   What I would tell anyone experiencing the deep hopelessness that comes with depression is that it will get better.  You will have hope again and you will feel happiness again.  It seems impossible to believe in those darkest of days but it will happen.  Don't give in to the lies the illness brings to your mind.  Hang on, have hope and then, pass on the compassion.

Somedays it's all I can do...

Lucky Me

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."
~Rita Mae Brown

I guess I am the lucky one.  : )