I ran across this article tonight while cruising the Internet because I can't sleep. I appreciate so much people who are willing to come forward in speaking out about their mental illness, especially those who have the ability to reach so many because of who they are. Yashi Brown is the daughter of Rebbie Jackson, oldest sister of Michael Jackson. I am looking forward to reading this book of her poetry. I shouldn't be surprised anymore at the sad emotions that come over me when reading anything in regards to Bipolar Disorder. I still feel such a deep sadness knowing that this is for life. Even at this good point in my life I have periods of grieving and once again have to come to terms with my illness. I hope this is normal for those with chronic illnesses and not just a lack of faith on my part. This is a short but good article. Take a minute and give it a read.
EXCLUSIVE: Rebbie Jackson On the Pain of Raising Daughter With Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia
By Hollie McKay
Published February 16, 2011 | FoxNews.com
The Jackson family has certainly been served many ups and downs. Now the eldest of the Jackson children, 60-year-old Rebbie Jackson, is opening up about her daughter Yashi Brown’s battle with bipolar disorder and schizophrenia in an attempt to reduce to stigma surrounding mental illness.
“It was such a hard thing, it has all been an experience I will never ever forget and all I wanted was to find a solution or a way in which Yashi could just solve the problems," Jackson told FOX411’s Pop Tarts. "A lot of people are have these disorders and they don’t know it because there are very different degrees of bipolar. So many people have this but they can’t figure out what their problem is. So you have to get to the core of the problem, expose it and accept it does exist, and then you can go about learning how to deal with it.”
In attempt to reach out to other families dealing with mental illness, Brown, now 33, is releasing the book “Black Daisy in a White Limousine: 77 Poems.”
“The poems date back to when I was in my teens to now. You can see some of the emotional changes and you get a sense of the true honest expression of all the things I’ve experienced with life, with family, love and all of that. You get a sense of what it is that we’re talking about,” Brown told Pop Tarts.
Brown’s mental illnesses went undiagnosed for several years, and it wasn’t until she was in her early twenties that the medical profession was able to pinpoint her problems. But due to the support of her family and the power of prayer, she now feels she is in a place to help other sufferers through their journey.
Brown also said coming from the famous Jackson family made it more difficult to cope with her mental health issues.
“It was harder for sure, you feel like you constantly have to hold it together so technically you’re living a double life. You’re living in this world that you totally don’t understand then you leave and go into the public where you really have to have it together,” she said. “Of course growing up in a high profile family especially will make you feel like you need to be some sort of an example or be super strong to the people around you and not be yourself. Instead of saying, ‘I have these challenges and other people have these same challenges and let’s communicate and talk about it’ as opposed to trying to act like they don’t exist or that you have it all together, which is really exacerbating it in the long run.”
As a mother, Rebbie, a Jehovah's Witness, also continues to turn to religion to pull her through the hard times.
“It’s about staying focused and prayer. I am a bible student for sure. And being calm. It’s hard to not let people go and get you upset or keep you upset,” she said. “We live in crazy times and whatever takes you away from the rhetoric, the craziness, just be calm and try to deal with life one day at a time.”
Jackson is also playing her part to help others in need by returning to the stage to headline the upcoming Pick Up the Phone Suicide Prevention Tour
And even amid the Dr. Conrad Murray trial that currently taking place in Los Angeles, Jackson insisted that 20 months after her brother Michael’s death, the Jackson family is doing very well.
“They seem to be fine,” she added. “Everybody seems to be doing fine.”
bp magazine is a bipolar magazine I came across while volunteering at the Boise NAMI office. I was on their online forum tonight and came across this post. I thought it was worth sharing.
http://www.bphope.com/
"When I was in intensive outpatient therapy, in one of my groups I wrote a letter from my "better half" to my illness. It was insightful, to say the least. Recently I came across the letter, and my current therapist suggested that I write a response to my better half. Here goes. . ."
Dear Vicious Sadness,
You have made my life a living hell.Day in and day out I feel your ugliness and it butts into my routine.I have lost my freedom, some of my friends, and my job because of you.In the past you were sometimes an inspiration for my artwork.Recently I have lost that inspiration, so life with you is full of nothing but despair.I would kill you if it didn’t mean killing myself.I didn’t even realize I held this negativity until writing this letter forced me to face my demons.I just wanted to say that I think I would be a better person without you.
Sincerely,
Your Better Half
Dear “Better Half”,
The obvious thing to do would be to apologize for making your life miserable, but it would fall flat, and so this is not an apology letter, but rather a forum to get things off my chest.When I decided to take a bottle of pills and just lie down to die, you were the one who saved me.I thank you for that, because I never realized how much my death (and yours) would have destroyed my friends and family.I also thank you for making me write in the diary that the paramedics found and passed on to the doctor.It is because of you that I got the wake-up call and help that we both needed.I find it sad that you think you would be better off without me.I am a part of you, as much as you are a part of me.I think that you appreciate life much more now that you have seen what happens when I rule over our brain.Now that we take the right meds our brain is in balance, and although my creativity has been squashed, it is a small price to pay for (us) to be functional (dare I say happy?)Now that mood swings, self-medicating, and near death experiences are behind us, I feel that we should come to some sort of truce.I promise that, although I will be a part of your life until “death do us part,” I will do my best to simply hover in the shadows created by your shining light, as long as you promise not to kill me with drugs, alcohol, or any other “negative” coping mechanism.
"WASHINGTON – The government says 1 in 5 American adults suffered from mental illness during the past year. Most didn't receive treatment. A survey being released Thursday by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration found that 45 million experienced some form of mental illness in 2009, from major depression to more serious problems such as suicide attempts. Fewer than 4 in 10 received treatment for their mental health condition. The survey found a strong link between mental health problems and alcoholism and drug abuse. Mental illness was also more likely among the unemployed, young adults and women. Overall, more than 8 million had serious thoughts of suicide, and 1 million tried to carry them out."
I feel so thankful that I was finally able to understand what was happening to me and get the medical help that I needed. I am sad that so many people are suffering and go untreated. The estimated percentages of people who have what they call co-occurring diagnosis (mental illness and substance abuse) are about 50%. I am thankful to be in the percentage of those who have not turned to drugs and alcohol to self medicate, although I do personally know people that have. I have to say that I understand why they turn to those substances to try and cope with the pain of mental illness, although all it does is compound the problems to an extreme degree. I know that my knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ has been a foundation of hope and faith for me and has helped me have a deeper understanding of the trials that each one of us will experience. If we turn to our Savior, all things can be for our good through his atoning sacrifice. We need to have faith that this is true. I can look back and see how this has come to pass in my own life and in the lives of my family. We have learned from each experience and are able to use it to bless the lives of others through our compassion and service. We are able to validate to others that what they are experiencing is real, that they are not crazy, and we can try to give them hope that things will get better. My heart goes out to everyone who suffers with mental illness. It is a very difficult life for us and for those who love us. Please have compassion and love for those who suffer. We need your understanding and support.
Story from a book I am reading about Job titled, "A Man of Heroic Endurance- Job"
written by Charles R. Swindoll
"I will never forget reading about the tragedy that struck a family of one child. The mother died abruptly and early in the child's life. The father and the daughter were suddenly left with only the memory of this wonderful wife and mother. Their grief and sorrow went deep. The night following the funeral, as the father tucked his daughter in bed, his heart went out to her, seeing that she was fighting back tears. And he decided that he would move a cot in there. He pulled it up close beside his daughter's bed, and they soon feel asleep. In the middle of the night, he heard her crying. And he called her name. Through her tears she said, "Daddy, it's just so hard. I just miss her so much." Fighting back his own tears, he reached over and took her hand. She said, "Oh, that's so much better." And then she put her hand on his shoulder and on his chest. Wanting to comfort her he said, "You know, sweetheart, we have the Lord to lean on." She said, "I know that, Daddy...but tonight I just need someone with skin on."
When I was in severe depression, sometimes all I needed was someone to hug me. The family learned that they couldn't fix the depression but they could give me a hug and reassure me that I was loved. At times it would instantly calm my anxiety and help me not feel so alone. It seemed that a physical strength immediately transferred from their body to mine. I think that that solution to my situation at times felt like too simple of an answer to Brent. It didn't make sense to him. I am thankful that he has learned how critical it can be for me. Sometimes I am able to ask him to hug me, but other times he is able to sense that is what I need. We have come so far in understanding what I need in order to stay healthy and well. Thanks and love to Brent for sticking with me long enough for us to come out on the other side. We still have a lifetime of bipolar to live with, but now we are in it together.
"Next to Normal" is an award winning Broadway musical about a mother who struggles with Bipolar Disorder and the effect the illness has on her husband and children. The musical also addresses such issues as grieving a loss, suicide, drug abuse, ethics in modern psychiatry, and suburban life. The music hits a little too close to home and I get emotional listening to it. I hope to see it one of these days.
"I don’t need a life that’s normal That’s way too far away But something next to normal Would be okay Yeah, something next to normal That’s the thing I’d like to try Close enough to normal To get by"
If your loved one has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, you may be in shock and may not know what to say. It’s important to choose your words carefully, because what you communicate can either support your loved one and encourage her to seek treatment or make her feel even worse about herself and her diagnosis, discouraging her from getting the help she needs.
Bipolar Disorder: The Nine Worst Things to Say
You may have been surprised by your loved one’s diagnosis and her behavior may be very frustrating, but no matter what she does (or doesn’t do) and how upset you get, do your best to avoid saying the following:
You’re crazy.
This is your fault.
You’re not trying.
Everyone has bad times.
You’ll be okay — there’s no need to worry.
You’ll never be in a serious romantic relationship.
What's the matter with you?
I can’t help you.
You don’t have to take your moods out on me — I’m getting so tired of this.
The truth is that bipolar disorder is a genetic medical illness — and it is treatable. Your loved one may cycle between being depressed with very little energy to being hyperactive or “manic.” This is all part of the illness and she can’t help it. It’s important that you be supportive, without nagging her. It will also help you if you know what to expect and how to spot when your loved one is not doing well or has stopped taking his medication.
Bipolar Disorder: The Eight Best Things to Say
What should you say to be supportive and help your loved one to do her best to manage the condition without being too pushy? Some of the best words of encouragement include:
This is a medical illness and it is not your fault.
I am here. We'll make it through this together.
You and your life are important to me.
You’re not alone.
Tell me how I can help.
I might not know how you feel, but I’m here to support you.
Whenever you feel like giving up, tell yourself to hold on for another minute, hour, day — whatever you feel you can do.
Your illness doesn't define who you are. You are still you, with hopes and dreams you can attain.
I have said for a long time that there is no neutral position for those who are involved in a bipolar person's life. You can either make things better for them or make them worse. Brent hated that he seemed to be my trigger for so many years, but once he understood how to help and support me in living with this illness it made all the difference. Now he is not my trigger but my rock. Truly, I couldn't do this without him. It took us a long time to learn how to work together in making this illness possible for me to live with and the family to live with. The reality is that everyone in my life is affected by what this does to me, so learning the right tools has made life better for all of us. Brent totally gets it now. The love that I have for him is beyond words. I hope everyone who lives with the nightmare of bipolar disorder has someone to support and love them like I do. Thank you to my amazing husband.
I am so intrigued with celebrities who have Bipolar Disorder. Jean-Claude Van Damme was a cocaine addict, was married four times from 1984-1994, was charged with spousal abuse, and became suicidal in 1997. Not long after that he was diagnosed rapid cycling bipolar disorder and was prescribed Lithium. He says, "In one week, I felt it kick in. All the commotion around me, all the water around me, moving left and right around me, became like a lake."
I like his description of how the medication helped him; the commotion was gone. Lithium was the first medication I was put on in 2001. For me it was not a good thing. I am a bit envious of those who find the answer right away. For me it was eight long years of trial and error. I would say that for the majority the road to discovering what medication will bring them to a stable place can take years. It was a test of faith for myself and for my family as we battled the war day in and day out without much relief. We suffered through the bad and tried to enjoy any small reprieve that came, knowing that the time would likely be short lived. The emotions of bipolar are completely overwhelming. I think a good comparison in how I experience it, is it's like a flash flood. The emotions come fast and hard, without any warning.
I still don't know where to channel that negative energy. Just yesterday I was expressing to Brent my frustration at still not understanding what to do with it even after all these years. I guess I should be learning patience through all of this but I certainly don't feel I have made much progress in that area. Maybe I don't give myself much credit, but then again, maybe I don't deserve any credit. We still experience the bipolar inconsistency everyday, but the good days completely outweigh the bad. Thank goodness for a doctor who never gave up and a family who has had endless amounts of enduring love for me. I can say that I feel greatly blessed. I never thought I would be able to say that and actually believe it.
"Definitely an insanity song. And that's what makes it rock." -Anonymous
This has been one of my "bipolar songs" for quite a few years. I know that the song meaning could be applied to various life situations but for me it speaks so accurately of mental illness and how it has affected my life for so many years. There were a few years that I literally felt crazy but looking back I can see that I was unwell...not crazy. Thank goodness for medication!
