Born to be Crazy

was i born to be crazy,
or was i crazy to have been born?
unanswerable questions drive me
to the brink of madness,
and still i cannot surrender
to the unknowing
until my mind can make sense
of the senselessness.
i am sorry to propel my madness
into your sane realm of logic,
but what would you have me do
other than join you
in your innate state of common sense.
do not ask me to let go
of my distorted thinking
and the emotions that inevitably follow,
for there is nothing
simplistic about my life.
my behavior may not suit your tastes,
and i cannot say that
it suits mine either.
however, i must identify what is broken
before i can clearly see what needs to be fixed.
if i am to be mended,
it will be done with my blessing,
with my cooperation and understanding,
and with my invariable, inherent persistence.
i am glad that your convictions work for you.
if they did not, you would no longer enjoy sanity.
but maybe i prefer the insane.
after all, it is familiar
and it is all that i have ever known.
so i was born to be crazy,
and i was crazy to have been born.
next question...

dina marie
may 2006