Words

egg on my face again.
some walk on eggshells,
others wear it in their face.
i am weary of the continual shame.
in my room i am safe;
my "cave" saves me from the humiliation
that follows me persistently.
the adjectives that i claim as my own
do nothing for my self respect;
they are just words
but they cut like a razor sharp blade,
removing any prospect of peace.
worthless, dumb, stupid...
words that have formed my identity.
a lifetime of articulate language
moving through my head without control.
strength of mind has, so far,
proven ineffective;
self talk has been futile.
the inner voices have been in command
playing havoc in my mind.
the volume inside
takes on a world of it's own.
voices, be still.
let me rest in peace...
with egg on my face.

dina marie
march 2006