I Want to Die...

"I want to die," I say.
Our society does not approve
of speaking such wickedness
for the subject is taboo to all
except to those who need
to speak of it.
So I will not speak my truth, my reality,
however, the silence does not remove the burden
and now I must carry it alone.
The inability to vocalize my wishes
does not make it any less real for myself
but it does make others more comfortable
in their safe, naive worlds.
I cannot find relief and the thoughts
of death continue,
only now they are only unspoken whispers.
Despite the seemingly wicked intent
of these thoughts
the desire to end the pain consumes me.
Tell me what logical mind created the absurd idea
that suppression is better than expression?
Show him to me and I will declare him inept
as he declares me a pitiful sinner.
The conspiracy of silence must be stopped.
This time I will not be restrained
and my wishes will be revealed to all.
Do with it as you wish.
"I want to die!" I scream.

May 2006