and as usual, i am given no warning.
i receive no polite preparation
for the intensity of emotion
that quickly encompasses my being.
as always the tears are immediate,
and as they flow
my mind frantically searches
for the source of my sadness.
confusion replaces the contented expression
that was visible only moments before.
my brow wrinkles intensely
as i struggle to find an explanation
that will adequately explain the instant sorrow.
trembling hands familiar only to me
cover the evidence written on my face
and my shoulders shudder in shame.
was i born to not only be inflicted upon
but to impose pain on my loved ones as well?
why must they suffer needlessly
when it is my cross to bear?
i must carry this burden alone.
i will give them no warning
and the "dreaded sorrow" will disappear...
with me.
dina marie
april 2006
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